Ask Mary Beth Question #2 :: How have you balanced all the different ages and stages of your kids?

Question: How have you balanced all the different ages and stages of your kids? 


Honestly, I’m not sure I have. With children ranging in ages from 33 to 16 and a “grandpile” of six kiddos, ages 7 to 1, it is certainly a lot to balance, to say the least.

Because our family felt called to adopt, we practically have had two sets of children. There is a nine-year gap between Will Franklin and our beautiful Shaoey. I literally feel like I raised three followed by another three. And now, about the time they are close to being on their own, there are six beautiful grandchildren to love and cherish.  

Balancing it all has been difficult, and it is something you have to decide to do—staying engaged and trying to be there for the various things that a mom (or grammy) is needed for. I could write a book on all the things not to do, but by God’s grace, our family seems to make it work with all of our crazy different life stages. We are pretty tight, and we spend a lot of time together. I am still in the throws of raising a high school daughter, and I need to be fully present for her and our sweet Shaoey, who is at the University of Alabama (Roll Tide!). Those two are still “in the nest,” so we are day-to-day parenting them, while also watching our adult children be parents and do life.

The one thing I try to keep in mind is that it all comes back to SCC and me and the example we set. Caring well for our relationship comes first and foremost, taking precedence even over our children and grandchildren, because our marriage and bond will help set all of the balance in order. As we love our family and try to engage in all the different stages, he and I have to be on the same page with the same goals and the same hope. After all is said and done, at the end of the day, it does come back to SCC and me, and from there, it is about our children and family.